The Only Way You're 'Special' Is 'Special Ed'

Yesterday as I was leaving work I encountered a most impressive pair of idiots.

At City Hall, there are two sets of doors. One is the general entrance, the other is the emergency/staff entrance. These entrances are on opposite sides of the building. Now, it's quite understandable that people occasionally go to the emergency/staff side when they're trying to enter the building. Since they can't actually get in there, they realize pretty quick that they have to go to the other door.

Coming out, however, there are big red and white signs which say "Emergency Exit Only - Alarm Will Sound". There is another door there with a black and white sign reading "Employee Exit Only". You have to use your ID badge with the little microchip in it to get the door to actually open, so it's pretty rare that other people even try to use that door.

Well, yesterday, I encountered a couple who clearly could not understand the afore mentioned simple signs. I walked out the employee door and carefully shut it behind me. Not five steps later, I hear - over the volume of my MP3 player - a klaxon type alarm going off. I turn back and there are two people walking out of one of the emergency doors. They look at me, with these kind of confused expressions, and promptly ask "Can we come out these doors?"

I carefully explain to them that, no, those are emergency and staff exits and that the public exit is on the other side of the building. As a I finish explaining this, she says "Oh, you mean the door we came in through, right?" And all the while, I'm thinking "How the fuck did you miss the big signs about 'Emergency Exit Only' and 'Alarm Will Sound'? Even if you missed the eye-level signs, you had to have seen the red and white striped stickers on the panic bar which also reads 'Emergency Exit Only - Alarm Will Sound.'"

Seriously, these are not exactly small signs on the doors - and there's a sign on each of the doors and each of the panic bars. If you can't understand these signs, how the fuck did you make to adulthood? And please tell me you haven't procreated - there are enough stupid people as it is; we don't need you actively adding to that number - it clear you're already doing more than your share on that count.