Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The "Dee Dee Dee" List

Inspired by Carlos Mencia (watch him here), this list is intended to keep track of various people who have proven quite clearly that they are, in fact, Dee Dee Dees. These are the people you walk by on the street, sit near in meetings, or have some contact with, and you find yourself thinking "Goddamn, I hope they never procreate!" As I, or someone else, come across these people, I will add them to the list (newer ones towards the top so people don't have to scroll through the whole list).

Wednesday 11/08/06: A British man has been hospitalized after lighting a firecracker which was in his ass (story on azcentral.com). Apparently, he and his friends had decided that this would be a good way to commemorate Guy Fawkes' day. How he could think sticking a lit firecracker in his ass and letting go off was a good idea, I have no clue. I wonder which of his friends (who of course filmed this with their mobile phones) was the first to yell "Holy shite!"

Monday 11/06/06: I overheard someone on the bus this morning, complaining about how the police had treated him over the weekend. Apparently, some one called the police, saying that a group of young, hispanic males were trying to steal tires. As it turns out, this guy matched the discription and was in area. So the cops rolled up on him and his friends. They told him to get out of his car. He refused because "it was cold out." His brother was also there and, after they finally got out of the car, he refused to remove his hands from his jacket pockets. Needless to say, this did not exactly makes the cops happy. And now this guy is pissed off because the cops were treating them bad. Hello, dumbass! You did everything you're not supposed to do with cops short of pulling a gun or running!

Wednesday 11/01/06: A Boston lawyer was arrested because he was dressed up as Osama bin Laden and waving around a fake gun. Apparently this was his way of protesting a proposed change in tax law. According to the Ruerter's story, he said "I didn't expect to be arrested. Obviously I touched a post-9/11 nerve." No shit, Sherlock!

Tuesday 10/31/06: SI.com reports an Orlando Magic fan has been banned from all NBA games for this season for calling Dikembe Mutombo a "monkey." The fan says he simply used "poor judgment." Gee, ya think?

Monday 10/30/06: A man in Ohio is suing "Discount Drug Mart," saying that the orthopedic he bought from them were so tight they caused him to have three toes amputated. Here's a hint, dumbass, if the shoes are starting to cause physical damage of this kind of severity, QUIT WEARING THEM! Read the local new story.

Thursday 08/10/06: Maurice Clarett. I ranted at length about him here. What else can I say?

3 comments:

JanieBelle said...

Are ya sure that shouldn't be the dumb dumb dumb list?

'Thought & Humor' said...

.

Take Dr. Phil's Test:


(Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test
on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks
pay a lot of money to find this stuff out!

Read on, this is very interesting!

Don't be overly sensitive! The following is
pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes.
Take this test for yourself.

Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll
down and answer.

Answers are for who you are now --- not who
you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and
paper ready.

This is a real test given by the Human Relations
Dept. at many of the major corporations today.
It helps them get better insight concerning their
employees and prospective employees. It's only
10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper,
keeping track of your letter answers to each question.

Ready??

Begin.



1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon & early evening
c) late at night



2. You usually walk.
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly



3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair



4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you


5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile


6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed



7. You're working very hard, concentrating
hard, and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes


8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray



9. When you are in bed at night, in those last
few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers


10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant





*Answers are located Here
for your convenience & felicity
at my obsequious blog.

jbwritergirl said...

All the absurdities nicely put my friend!
JB