Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Crazy Magnet

For some reason, in the last few weeks I have become a magnet for crazy. Naturally, not everyone and everything around me is crazy. But it does seem like the number of crazy people I encounter on a regular basis has increased recently. Now, I don't mean people talking to their shoes kind of crazy. More the walk away and think "wow - there's a nut job for you" kind of crazy.

First, there was the guy who was trying to convince me and one of my friends that the "immaculate conception" was really the product of space aliens. And he was sure that, since I am a pagan, I believed the same. We just smiled and nodded.

Then there were the two drunk girls a couple weekends ago. One of them stumbled up the table my friends and I were at, proceeded to try and bet us that she weighed more than I do. I am not exactly a small person, so we knew she was drunk/crazy. She wandered off, and we just kind of laughed and went back to watching college football. As we were leaving the bar, however, we encountered the two of them again. This time, they were having problems with their car. As in they had managed to lock themselves inside and couldn't get out. Yes, that's right, INSIDE! One of them (the one who had tried to bet us earlier) had made it out through an open sun-roof. The other was terribly upset because her "boobs were too big to fit through!" (Her words, not mine.) And on top of it all, she couldn't get the keys out of the ignition and couldn't get the car to start. One of my friends climbed in through the open roof, got the keys out of the ignition with no problem, and handed them out to me. I opened the door, letting the other girl out - who promptly ran inside, moaning about how badly she had to pee. I tried starting the car - and had no trouble whatsoever. We told them to go back inside, and get a cup of coffee to warm up (and hopefully sober up, too). Yeah, crazy.

Next, there was the couple who switched back and forth between talking to me about football and beer, and having a loud, rather heated argument about plane tickets from Phoenix to Las Vegas. The argument ended when he said "this relationship is over" and she stormed out. After he paid and left, all of us in the near vicinity looked at each other and quickly agreed that that was rather uncomfortable.

And most recently, was the guy who tried to tell me that he could determine my entire personality based on the beer bottle I had in front of me. While this might have actually been really interesting and amusing, he never actually got around to telling me what kind of personality I have. I also decided not to tell him that the bottle in front of me wasn't mine, but one that someone had left just prior to my sitting down. For the record, it was a Bud Lite bottle. Anyone who knows me will tell you I DON'T drink Bud-fuckin'-Lite. Or any other mass produced American pilsner for that matter. Bud, Coors, Michelob, etc, not my taste.

For some reason, people like to approach me and want to talk. I'm accustomed to this. I don't particularly give off a threatening vibe or anything, so random people will talk to me. That, and the fact that I tend to make eye contact with people. It's my way of acknowledging another human being. So I make eye contact and people feel free to talk to me. But recently, a lot of those random people have been down right crazy. It's like I'm wearing a sign which says, "Hey, please dump all your crazy right here!"

3 comments:

Propsqueen said...

Dear RH -

I'm Crazy! And you deal with me just fine... be thankful that it's not a daily basis.

Love,

Propsqueen

RogueHistorian said...

Yeah, but see, you're my usual kind of crazy. In other words, the same kind of crazy as me! These are the "I'm going to slowly back away now" kind of crazy. Totally different.

KB said...

Hahahahahahaha! Great and funny post!
Firstly, thanks for commenting on my blog because it directed me back here after a very long period of time! Sorry!!
Secondly, I watched "The Secret" the other night. You may or may not believe in what they say, but I got some really useful things from it and it's at least given me a more positive attitude, which I needed at the moment. Anyway, the theory is "you attract what you put out" or "like attracts like".....something to think about - I'm not saying you're crazy! But maybe there's something you are 'putting out' that is attracting these people to you.

Meantime, that post was hilarious! And I just imagined your face (not that I know what you look like!!) and the looks you gave each other when those things happened. Classic!