Monday, January 22, 2007

Arizonans in the Rain

I have decided that there are hardly any Arizonans who know what to do when it rains. And I'm including many of the people who have moved here as well - this is not just directed at native Arizonans. Every time it rains, I fully expect to see someone curled up the fetal position in the corner sucking their thumb and staring blankly into space. And almost none know how to drive in the rain. Even when it just sprinkles a little, they go into a complete mental shutdown and lose all ability to think rationally (by the way, it seems to me that rational thinking should be an integral part of driving - just a little important). They seem to either slow to a crawl or drive even faster. And given that the normal speed of traffic is at least 10 to 15 mph over the posted speed limit, that's saying something.

If you don't believe me, just consider the fact that Arizona has a "Stupid Motorist Law." Read it for yourself here. Basically it says that if you drive around posted barricades telling you that the road is closed due to flood conditions, and they have someone to rescue your dumb ass, you can charged for any and all fees and costs associated with the rescue. Personally, I like this law. It means that my taxes don't have to go up when the city or state it forced to save someone from becoming a candidate for the Darwin Awards (speaking of which, I have added the Darwin Awards to my list of links). Here's a picture of the barricades.

I got this picture from here

And it's not just drivers who fall apart in the rain. People walking around do it too. For example, we had some rain here last night, which naturally meant there were some puddles on the sidewalks this morning. Walking from the bus stop to my office, I encountered several of these. Unfortunately, so did the people in front of people. At the first, a few of them actually stopped short and had to think about what they were going to do about this puddle. I was dumbfounded. It's not like this was a big puddle or anything. It was maybe 3 feet long, 1 foot wide, and maybe, maybe half an inch deep. Half an inch! And they had to stop and think about it. And none of these people were wearing expensive or open-toed shoes (I know, I looked, thinking that had to be the reason for the stoppage). They were all in tennis shoes or boots, for fuck's sake! Eventually, they decided that, yes, it was possible to step over or around it, and we all proceeded on our way, me shaking my head sadly and muttering "unbe-fucking-lieveable" under my breath.

Of course, many of these people were probably the same ones you see walking (okay, maybe it's more like "scurrying") around in the rain wearing nice leather coats, or no coats at all, and then going around bitching about how their clothes have been damaged. Here's a hint, dumbass: when it's raining, wear something which is meant for the rain! Like, say, oh I don't know, a rain coat. Once you're inside where it's dry, then you can take off the rain coat and go back to worrying about looking trendy and/or stylish.

So what does all my ranting here come down to? Just this:

It's just water, so get over it and use your head, dumbass!

9 comments:

Journey said...

You think that's good, you should've seen people in the snow this morning. Better still, we don't have road crews who do road clearing on a regular basis, so all the overpasses and bridges were closed until they could be de-iced . . . in morning rush hour. Thus putting everyone who doesn't know how to drive in snow on an even smaller, more crowded group of available roads.

RogueHistorian said...

Yeah - that certainly falls into the "not so much fun" category, doesn't it. I guess in light of that, I can put up with people being frightened by a puddle!

Alex said...

We Arizonans sure are a dumb lot...

RogueHistorian said...

Now now. I'm not saying that all Arizonans are dumb, nor that they are completely dumb in all ways. I'm simply pointing out that at least 90% of them are incapable of thinking rationally when it's raining.

And if that doesn't get me off the hook, I could always point out that your husband agreed with me whole-heartedly when I mention this yesterday morning. Sorry, man, but I'm going to spread the blame around as much as I can!

Alex said...

I think it is transplanted Easterners driving giant SUVs that are the true problem. They don't realize that oil builds up on the roads in AZ, causing more slipping and sliding than one would experience in a place with significantly more rain. I would assert that native Arizonans learned to drive in AZ rain... it is those who came from elsewhere to clog up our state with their gas guzzlers who are so inhospitable! :)

Journey said...

Well, that would explain why the SUVs slow down to a crawl to go through puddles and flowing water. Unfortunately, they invariably do it in front of small cars like mine. I'm sorry, if I don't hit that wash at thirty miles an hour, I'm not going to hydroplane with sufficient momentum to get through it, and I'm going to swamp.

Propsqueen said...

Poor Pete and your rain!! It must suck having a little bit of moisture every now and then... not that I would know anything about forms of percipitation!

RogueHistorian said...

You know very well Erin that I'm not bitching about the rain. I love the rain. It's people (specifically, most Arizonans) in the rain that I'm bitching about.

Corporal Kate said...

North Carolinians and snow.

Samey same.