Well, I threatened a while back to write a list for all the dumbasses who don't know when they have had too much fun (read the original post here). This was not an idle threat. So, here is the "Signs You Have Had Too Much Fun" list.
1. Your underwear ends up on another person's car.
2. You develop an accent - from a place you have never been.
3. Suddenly, you are an expert on politics, sports, Russian literature, and obscure music - and you know they are all interrelated . . . somehow.
4. W's foreign policies begin to sound rational and coherent.
5. You believe the Democratic Party actually has a platform.
6. You believe that your beer is the best place to store your cell phone.
7. The winos are looking concerned at your behavior.
8. The room spins in different directions depending on which eye you have open - and you don't want to even think about what would happen if you opened both at the same time.
9. The idea of mixing random liquors in hope of finding the perfect shot is an appealing one.
10a. Americans - You begin to understand the rules for cricket.
10b. English - You begin to enjoy baseball.
10c. Welsh - You begin to cheer for England in a football (soccer) game.
11. The police knock on the door and you ask them if they were brought the pizza and another case of beer.
12. You think Kenny G and Michael Bolton are gods!
13. Your equally impaired friend says, "I bet you can't [fill in the blank]" and you, of course, have to prove them wrong.
14. You wake up and your first thought isn't "Where am I and what did I do?" It's "What day is it and who the hell am I?"
15. You start dancing to Hootie and the Blowfish.
16. You swat the car on the nose and drive your dog home.
17. You have a deep and meaningful conversation - with the cat.
18. The ATF has formed a You division.
19. You find out what you did last weekend from a judge.
20. You friends tell you that you invented a new language made entirely of swear words.
21. Your last breathalyzer reading was "No Fucking Way."
22. You can say "Whiskey, please" in 6 languages, but can't understand "Last call" in English.
23. The bartender gives you a "special" drink (water and food coloring) - and you can't notice the difference.
24. You play the same song 20 times in a row at top volume at three in the morning and are certain the neighbors don't mind because, you know, it's such a kick-ass song.
25. You get the best night of sleep you've ever had - in a random flower bed.
3 comments:
"15. You start dancing to Hootie and the Blowfish."
"18. The ATF has formed a You division."
nice. also, about ten years ago, I left a couple friends in my house alone with the family cat (while said friends were in an extremely enhanced state) and returned three hours later to learn from them that they had actually attempted to hold a conversation with the cat
I actually have held deep conversations with cats. But this has more to do with being pagan and a cat person, both. When I dream about my cats, I also dream about all four of them--the two that are alive and the two that aren't. This should be a dead giveaway that it's a completely different problem than too much fun. Pardon the pun.
Love the list, handsome. I may have to send it to some folks. :)
As much as I might like, I cannot claim credit for all of these. Some are ones I've heard here and there, but I thought they were worth including. Please, feel free to pass it on, babe. I get the feeling they'd get a kick out it!
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