Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Fire and Brimstone

Okay, I now better understand why people have used these words to evoke the image of a fiery damnation for centuries. I had the fun of experiencing this first-hand this morning. Not in the Biblical sense, of course, but rather physically.

Maybe I should start from the beginning. I woke up pissed off. No particular reason - it just happens some mornings. It might have had something to do with the fact that when my clock/radio turned on this morning, the radio station was playing Phil Collins. I believe I'm mentioned in the past just how much I hate Phil-fucking-Collins. He was okay when he was a part of Genesis (especially when it was still Peter Gabriel in charge), but I can't stand his solo stuff.

Anyway, after quickly slapping the radio off, I decided that I needed something to calm me down. Incense will usually do this for me, so I decided to burn a short stick of it. Well, when I struck the paper match, it flared up, leaving a nice sized chunk of burning sulfur (for those of you who don't already know this, brimstone and burnt sulfur are the same thing) on the tip of the middle finger on my right hand. I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but I can tell you it hurts. A lot. After a few choice words and much cool running water, it was bearable again.

Now, unfortunately, I have also discovered exactly how much I use the middle finger on my right hand - and not just for saluting other drivers on the road either. Typing, for example, is fun right now. Pushing radio or elevator buttons also provide good times. Trying to use the scroll wheel on my mouse, another good one. Hopefully, I've already passed the shitty part of my day. May the gods help me if not. At least I still have my good friend Jack Daniel's in the office.

No comments: