NOW It's Time!

Yay! My salsa is ready. Now, one thing you should understand. When I say I want salsa, I mean I want real salsa. "Pace" doesn't count! I want big chunks of tomato, onion, lots of cilantro and garlic, etc. A lot of watered-down tomato sauce with a couple pieces of tomato and onion and a ton of salt - i.e. Pace-style "salsa" - simply does not cut it. Admittedly, I do keep a jar of commercial "salsa" in my fridge simply because it keeps longer and works on short notice. As is evident from my post yesterday, having to wait for good salsa is not exactly something I'm good at. But, I try to buy something better than Pace. Anyway, I can now have my salsa, real salsa.

"Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark." ~ Randal Graves, Clerks

I Hate Waiting

I was in the mode for fresh, home-made salsa today, so I stopped by the store and picked up the stuff. Unfortunately, salsa really needs at least 12 hours or so to meld and come together. This means waiting until tomorrow - this I do not like. And this is really good salsa, too.

[tick tick tick]

Is it ready yet?

Where Are My Files?

So the ASU History Department has just launched a new webpage. In my opinion, this is a good thing. I was the one who designed the old page and managed it for a while, but I was not a big fan of it. The problem was that I didn't really have any creative control, so the results were less than ideal. Still better than the previous versions, but that's not saying much.

Anyway, this new version was designed by a professional web designer and is pretty nice. There are few things I don't like, but you're never going to make everyone happy. Anyway, when this new page was launched, the designer removed all of the old files from the server - including the files for the six project webpages I manage. This annoyed me. And it's not like the faculty members on the website committee don't know about these pages or the fact that I manage them. Luckily, I'm anal-retentive enough about my files that I have several back-ups, including the original files. Some designers I know just work on the server copies and don't bother having the originals on their computer. Not me! This means that I was able to just reload the files and everything was fine again.

But still! To just assume that those files were unimportant and could be deleted . . . There were many obscenities said under my breath at work today.

No Shit . . .

A word of advice - if you ever have to submit photos of your house to government for any reason, it's probably a good idea to wait and take the picture after your dog has finished taking a shit in the middle of the lawn - and, hence, in the middle of your shot. Believe me, submitting a picture with your dog in mid-squat will not, repeat not, help your case with the city.

News From the Family Front - Part II

Well, I found out yesterday that my mother's broken leg is going to require surgery. Apparently, hers is a compression break of 3.5 cm. A compression break of 2 cm or less, they don't do surgery. A break of 4 or more, they do. So hers is right in the middle. If she doesn't have surgery, she runs a real risk of developing arthritis. No surgery would mean 6 weeks to 3 months of recovery. And surgery would mean . . . 6 weeks to 3 months of recovery. So surgery it is. She goes in tomorrow morning. She hopes to be out tomorrow night, but everyone is saying that's not likely to happen. While it sucks to break your leg for the summer, at least it is the summer. My mother is a first grade teacher (braver than I), and having a broken leg during the school year would be even worse. And hopefully, her recovery will be closer to 6 weeks than 3 months!

News From the Family Front

I just found out my mother broke her leg yesterday. At least they gave her plenty of pain medicine (read: "happy pills").

Madame Pele

Lapakü ka wahine a`o Pele i Kahiki `Oaka ë ka lani noke nö `Oaka ë ka lani noke nö `Eli`eli kau mai `Eli`eli kau mai `Oaka ë ka lani noke nö `Oaka ë ka lani noke nö `Ühï`ühä mai ana`o Pele I ka lua a`o Halema`uma`u `Oaka ë ka lani noke nö `Oaka ë ka lani noke nö E Pele E Pele e He inoa no Pele

The woman Pele abounds actively in Kahiki The heavens flash on and on The heavens flash on and on May a deep respect come to us May a deep respect come to us The heavens flash on and on The heavens flash on and on The raging of Pele can be heard In the pit of Halema`uma`u The heavens flash on and on The heavens flash on and on O Pele O Pele In the name of Pele

I'm Not Entirely Sure How I Feel About This

I was scanning the New York Times online today when I came across this article. It's about a new museum which is getting ready to open in Kentucky. The thing that's different about this particular museum is that it's a museum based entirely on Creationism. And they make no secret of this fact. The name of the museum is the Creation Museum.

Now, I'm not one to try and tell people that their beliefs are wrong. I simply don't work that way. I don't happen to believe Creationist theory, but other people have every right to and they have every right to build a museum to share their beliefs. But . . . as a historian (even a rogue one), the idea of a Creationist natural history museum is slightly odd to me. And as a pagan, I am always a little leery of hard-line Christian ideology - too much bad blood on both sides over the millennia. And before anyone asks, I'm not planning on sharing my particular religious/spiritual ideologies. I feel that religion is particular to the individual, which means it's very difficult (if not nearly impossible) to truly convey those ideas to another in any way that they can actually understand. But that's a whole other rant for another time - perhaps.

Anyway, back to the Creation Museum. Even if I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it personally, I can make a few comments professionally. First, I'm interested in seeing how many visitors it will get a year. According to the NYT article, they say they are expecting a quarter million visitors in the first year. That's about 685 people a day. (By way of comparison: the Smithsonian Museums had about 23 million visitors in 2006 - over 63,000 a day; the Denver Museum of Nature and Science had 1.48 million - 4,055 a day; and the Arizona-Sonoran Desert Museum has about 550,000 a year - 1,500 a day). I would say that the Creation Museum has a good chance of meeting their goal in the first year - and only in their first year. They will be something new and different, and people will be more interested. After that first year, however, their numbers will go down as the people who came just to see it because it was new and different stop coming. I simply do not see them maintaining that level of interest beyond that. Second, I am very afraid of the potential academic and professional backlash they may get. Academics and professionals are not always the kindest people when it comes to disagreements on foundational theories and ideologies. And I can see this getting real ugly, real quick. Third, the museum seems to be making a big deal of the fact that they received enough in donations to allow them to open without any debt. I applaud them for this. But I would caution them that, like their visitor numbers, they should not be counting on this continuing. It's expensive to keep a museum open and running. Normally, a great deal of this cost goes to developing new exhibits to keep people coming in. With something like Creationism, which doesn't really change all that much, is this going to be an issue? I really don't know, although I still think that they will have to make some changes over time just to keep people coming back.

Regardless of how things go for them, I'll be curious to see what happens.

General Updates

Well, once again, I'm back. Things have finally settled down some now that the semester is over. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm inactive or anything. I still have things which need to be taken care of. I'm spending time this summer working as a subcontractor for the big name in historic preservation in the region. This woman has cities like Vail and Aspen asking her to help them write their historic preservation ordinances. She doesn't even sit down for a meeting unless she's getting paid at least $150 an hour. This, children, is called resume building! In addition to the hours I'm working for her, I also have a few hours a week for The Overlord, continuing to do some web design and maintenance. On top of that, I'm going to be spending time preparing grant applications. I would really like to get enough money from various people to research and write my dissertation in a year, beginning next fall (next summer will be spent getting married, honeymooning, and taking comp exams - I think that's enough!). Oh yeah, I would also like some time with my fiancee, Journey - funny thing, that, wanting to see the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with.

In other news and happenings, Journey and I went to a roller derby bout this past weekend, which was awesome. I should explain that the roller derby we go to watch is NOT the staged kind they used to show on late-night cable in the '70s. This is a real competition, and these girls take it very seriously. If you're in the Phoenix area, you might want to check it out (here's their web site). We had the chance to watch the traveling team, the Tent City Terrors, play the Carolina Rollergirls. The TCT are the best skaters from around the state, including Journey's sister. For those of you outside Arizona, I probably should explain the "Tent City" thing. The Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, established "Tent City" as a way of dealing with overcrowding in the prisons. Basically, he got a bunch of Korean War military tents and set up a camp for the overflow of prisoners. He also makes the inmates wear pink underwear. (here's an old CNN story on Tent City.)

Anyway, playing off this (admittedly) rather bizarre situation, the travelling roller derby team decided they would be known as the Tent City Terrors. They have the traditional black and white stripes, accented with pink. The bout against the Carolina Rollergirls was one of the best and fasted I've seen. The hits were hard and a few girls ended up skidding into the crowd! In the end, the TCTs won by 3 points, so it was a good night.

And way to go Phoenix! We're ranked #6 in the nation for rude drivers! Not that this is of any great surprise to those who have driven in Phoenix, of course. Even I, I must admit, have been known to do things to contribute to this ranking. Although, in my defense, most of the time, the other person deserves it. I take special pleasure in trying to block out the drivers who are trying to cut ahead of everyone else in construction zones. If the signs are clearly telling you that a lane is closed ahead, you need to go ahead and move over. Don't try to cut around the rest of us like your more important. When I see people trying to do that, I'll try to block them out or not let them in . . . if I can do it safely - I have no interest in getting in an accident or getting shot, both real possibilities around here.

Well, now that things are returning to a more reasonable pace, I'll try to be back on more often!

Another Semester Down - Two to Go

Well, I turned in my last assignment for semester yesterday evening. This puts me half-way through my PhD course work! Two more semesters - one year. At this point, right at the end of a particularly long semester, that feels like a hell of a lot. More on that later . . . maybe.

This is really just an update to say that I'll hopefully be back to posting on a regular starting next week. First, I need to get some rest - I'm too damn brain-dead right now to write anything good.

See you next week!

Not Dead (Yet)

No, I'm still alive. It's just that last push at the end of the semester. One class completely done with, one more I'll finish up tonight (I write this in the few minutes I have before going to that one). My last class I'll finish up when I submit a research paper on Thursday. Hopefully, I'll be able to post more frequently after that!

Hitting the Nail on the Head (So to Speak)

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Take a nation of do-it-yourselfers, add a ready supply of cheap nailguns and what do you get? About 37,000 nailgun injuries a year, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Since 1991, nailgun injuries have risen about 200 percent, the CDC said in its weekly report on death and disease.

"This increase likely corresponds to an increase in availability during the 1990s of inexpensive pneumatic nail guns and air compressors (to power the nail guns) in home hardware stores; however, no sales data are available for confirmation," the CDC reported.

But when the CDC looked at who was getting injured, it became clear that the number of work-related nailgun injuries had stayed stable since 1998. It was consumer-related injuries that had soared.
~from CNN.com (here).

Really? No kidding. Of course the people getting hurt are the do-it-yourselfers. People who use pneumatic nailguns for a living have experience. DIYers don't. But, I really don't blame the rising in injuries on more people buying nail guns.

I blame it on those home-improvement shows on television. They make it look like any idiot with a hammer, a flannel shirt, and a tool-belt (you have to have the tool-belt) can completely remake their home in a weekend.

No. You can't. You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

And doing damage to yourself or house with a nailgun is bad enough, but these DIYers are also messing with things like their electrical and plumbing. A few words of advice for any of you thinking on taking on an electrical or plumbing project: IF YOU DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING, CALL A PROFESSIONAL! Putting a nail in the wrong place - like your hand - may be a pain (bad pun, I know, but I couldn't help it), but messing up with your electrical or your plumbing can be REALLY bad. A mistake with either of these can cost you thousands to repair - if your lucky. And a mistake with an electrical project can easily kill you.

I worked at Home "Despot" for a while before getting into grad school. Part of that time was spent in the Electrical Department, because I had had some training from having worked as a theater tech for much of high school and my undergrad years. One day, we had a guy come in with a problem. He been trying to install a steam room in his house like he had seen on some DIY show (for a while, this was a really popular thing to do in our area). He got it all built fine, had read up on what he needed to do with the electrical, and gotten all the wiring installed just fine. He had reached the step where you put the pull-out breaker in the subpanel. He inserted the pull-out and got a big arch, lots of yellowish smoke, and that great ozone smell. Now, I don't know if you've ever seen one of these pull-outs, but their basically a black plastic handle with two large, flat copper plates. The idea is that you can pull this out and instantly break the circuit it there's a problem, instead of having to run all the way to your main breaker-box. Sounds simple enough.

Well, this guy brought in the pull-out he had used and it looked something like this. He wanted to know what had gone wrong. Our first question to him was "Did you turn off the power from your main breaker-box to the subpanel?"

Answer: "No. I thought that's what this was for." Well, yes, in the end it kind of serves that purpose, but you still have to turn off the power BEFORE you try to shove two pieces of copper in place to complete the circuit. We told him he was lucky to only end up having to replace the pull-out. He very easily could have been seriously injured or even killed. He just got this kind of dazed look on his face and said that maybe he would call an electrician to come out and finish things up. Good idea, buddy.

So, when I hear that people are putting nails through themselves, I don't blame the the store for selling them the nail-gun. I blame these "This Old House" knock-off shows and their Bob-Villa-wannabes for convincing people they can so this shit on their own.

Comments and Rants on Various Sports Topics

HOCKEY:
Well, the Stanley Cup Playoffs begin today. And unfortunately, the Colorado Avalanche are out of it. We made a good run at the end of the season, but Saturday's game against Nashville ended our hopes of going to the playoffs for the 12th straight year. On the plus side, however, the Avalanche have already signed captain Joe Sakic to a new one-year contract. Not much else to say on the Avs right now, so on to other hockey news . . .

"This is the time of year the Red Wings need Todd Bertuzzi. But, they could be starting the playoffs Thursday against the Flames without the power forward. Bertuzzi, who suffered a concussion last Thursday, missed a second day of practice Tuesday. And coach Mike Babcock didn't sound encouraged." - from SI.com.

GOOD! Bertuzzi is a thug and I'm happy anytime he gets hurt and has to sit out. Normally, I'm not one to wish harm on others. And I don't actually wish harm on Bertuzzi - I'm just not sorry when it happens. Personally, I still think that Bertuzzi should have been permanently banned from hockey and jailed for his March 8, 2004, attack on Avalanche center Steve Moore. So, I'm sorry, but I have pretty much no sympathy for Bertuzzi having a concussion. Think of it as a little bit of karmic payback, you fuck.

Here are my predictions for the first round of the playoffs:
* Buffalo Sabres over NY Islanders in 5 games
* NJ Devils over Tampa Bay Lightening in 4 games
* Atlanta Thrashers over NY Rangers in 6 games
* Pittsburgh Penguins over Ottawa Senators in 7 games
* Detroit Red Wings over Calgary Flames in 4 games
* Anaheim Ducks over Minnesota Wild in 5 games
* Dallas Stars over Vancouver Canucks in 6 games
* San Jose Sharks over Nashville Predators in 7 games

FOOTBALL:
I like the suspensions handed down by Roger Goodell yesterday. Both "Pacman" Jones and Chris Henry have a long string of problems off the field and repeated run-ins with the cops. I'm glad that someone in the NFL is finally standing up and saying that players simply cannot act like the rules don't apply to them. Now to clarify things here, Jones and Henry are under the old personal conduct policy, which is (partially) why they have been allowed to continue to have so many problems without major punishment from the NFL. Goodell and the NFL have instituted a new personal conduct policy, which will apply to players coming into the league beginning this year.

The schedule for the coming season is supposed to released sometime later today.

BASEBALL:
Things in baseball I really don't care about which almost everyone else around here seemingly does:
* The D-backs winning six straight - whoopee-fucking-do.
* Barry Bonds. Took steroids (probably), and lied about it (probably). Put an asterisks next to his name when he breaks Hank Aaron's career home-run record.
* Daisuke Matsuzaka's "gyro-ball".
* A-rod.

NASCAR:
Things in NASCAR I really don't care about which almost everyone else around here seemingly does: the whole damn "sport".

Sometimes Things Just Suck

Sorry for the rather prolonged delay between posts. I've spent most of the last week having a shit-load of fun . . . yeah, right.

Last Wednesday (March 28) night my truck was broken into. They got away with my laptop, my portable hard-drive, my palm pilot, and one of my digital cameras. Somewhere between $1,800 and $2,000 worth of stuff. Yeah, there were many, many, MANY of those words your mother always told you not to say. (Of course, my grandmother always just to say that you didn't want to say those words too often, because sometimes there's nothing else left to say, so you have to save them up for those times.)

So, I have have been spending the last week or so alternately dealing with the insurance company (who replaced the window, but said I was out of luck on the stuff inside the truck!) and trying to get caught up on my work. On the latter, things could have been worse. I have a CD back-up of all my files from the beginning of last month, so I have all the old stuff. The more recent stuff, however, is another matter. Usually, I would just carry around the portable hard-drive, backing up that information onto my laptop at home on a very regular basis. On this particular Wednesday, however, I was at a workshop and had decided at the last minute to take my laptop along - my note taking is faster and more efficient when I type them than when I hand write - so both pieces were in the same location at the same time. Fortunately, my professors were cool and gave me some time to get caught up. I was supposed to turn in a rough draft of a research paper that Thursday - but since it went away with the rest of my stuff, that wasn't going to happen. Luckily, I had printed out a hard copy of the paper on Friday (March 23), so I didn't have to recreate the whole thing, but all the work I had done over the weekend and during the first half of the week was gone. FUCK! In many ways, this pissed me off the most. This fucker has cost me time and work, in addition to the material loss. But the material loss is just that, material. Things can be replaced. The time and work? No so much!

Things are getting back to normal at this point. I have a plan (sorta) to replace the laptop soon and I have already replaced the palm pilot. Those two are the most important to my day-to-day functioning, so they need(ed) to be replaced first. The portable hard-drive was a convenience more than anything else. I still have an older flash-stick and I can always borrow one of The Overlord's spare portable hard-drives for a bit if I need, so that one can wait a few months. The camera - it was a REALLY nice camera and is one I will definitely replace. But . . . I have another digital (it's just older and not as nice) and I still have my SLR cameras. Replacing my lost digital can wait even longer, then. The last thing this bastard got was the bag all my stuff was in. It's the cheapest piece and it's the easiest to replace, so I'll wait a pay-check or two to take care of that one.

The long and short of it all? My stuff is gone and I probably won't get it back (the Tempe Police took a report over the phone and . . . that was it), I've been busting my ass to get caught up as best I can, and am slowly replacing the material stuff.

Funny Video

Very predicable, but definitely worth watching!

The Apple iRack

Wikipedia Birthday Meme

Carried on from Sheep Days.

1. Go to Wikipedia, type in your birth month and date, but no year (ie - January 1).

2. List Events on that which interest you:

• 1040 - King Duncan I is killed in battle against his first cousin and rival Macbeth


• 1877 - Thomas Edison makes the first-ever recording


• 1914 - The Panama Canal opens to traffic with the transit of the cargo ship Ancon


• 1969 - The Woodstock Music and Art Festival opens

3. List a few birthdays:

• 1769 - Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of the French (d. 1821)


• 1771 - Sir Walter Scott, Scottish novelist and poet (d. 1832)


• 1925 - Oscar Peterson, Canadian jazz pianist


• 1945 - Gene Upshaw, NFL player


• 1958 - Craig MacTavish, former Canadian ice hockey player/coach

4. List a death:

• 1057 - King Macbeth of Scotland (nice little bit of irony for you there!)

5. List a holiday or observance (if any):

• Egypt – Flooding of the Nile Day

6. Tag some other bloggers:

• neh - join in if you want, I'm not going to force it on anyone

I Hate Having To Do This

Today I find myself having to cheer for a team I absolutely hate - the Detroit Red Wings. I am an Avalanche fanatic. Ever since the team came to Colorado in the 1995-96 season, I have been a loyal fan and supporter. A couple of years ago, during the NHL Lock-Out, I had serious problems adjusting to a lack of hockey. Naturally, part of being such an Avs fan means that I hate the Red Wings. It's a rivalry which goes back to that first season and has never really abated (although I think much of our hatred has shifted to the Vancouver Canucks, after Bertuzzi's hit on Moore). Anyway, I'm going to be forced to root for the Wings tonight. They're playing the Calgary Flames, who are currently 4 points ahead of the Avalanche for the 8th and final playoff spot in the West. I really want the Flames to lose . . . but that means rooting for the Wings.

sigh . . . the things we have to do for our teams.

Follow Up To "Take Back Our History"

Well, House Resolution 1255, which I posted about last Friday, went to the House floor today. And it passed! Final vote was 333 for to 93 against, with 7 no votes. Want to see how your rep voted? Here's the full roll call. I want to thank those of you who took the time to contact your representative and tell them how important this kind of action is.

Ya Think?

Justice Department Says F.B.I. Misused Patriot Act, from New York Times online.

Take Back Our History

"I firmly believe that ... presidential papers, except for the most highly sensitive documents involving our national security, should be made available to the public." ~ President Gerald Ford

The Presidential Records Act (1978) stated that Presidents and former Presidents had to make their presidential records available to the public 12 years after their final term in office. There were of course certain circumstances under which records could be withheld longer (such as on-going matters of national security), but there was a process by which this happened which ensured that the people would have access to the records of their president.

On November 1, 2001, President Bush issues Executive Order 13233, which, in the words of Representative Henry Waxman (D-CA), "carved enormous loopholes in the Presidential Records Act." What this executive order did was to give the President to the unchecked power to withhold any records and/or other materials indefinitely after their final term in office. Not only that, but their heirs could withhold them as well. And as a final coup de grace, the order gave this same power to the vice-president! Personally, I find this deeply disturbing - as should anyone who wants to prevent the tyranny of the state.

Well, there is presently an opportunity to tell Bush that we will not accept this kind of thing. Just yesterday, the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee unanimously approved H.R. 1255, the "Presidential Records Act Amendments of 2007." This is a bill which would revoke 13233 and set a time limit on how long Presidents can withhold this information. But we have to act NOW! This bill will coming up for debate on the House floor early next week. This link will take you the joint website for the Federation of State Humanities Councils, the National Coalition for History and the National Humanities Alliance. They have a full description of what this bill would do. There is also a prepared form letter which you can submit, as is or edited as you choose, directly to your Representative. It's quick and easy - and it's important. So I ask that you let your Reps know that we want our history back!

---

If you want to know more about the bill and what was said in the Subcommittee's hearings on it, click here.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

Fuck, some people aggravate me. (surprise, surprise, surprise)

As part one of the projects I work on, I monitor and maintain an online discussion forum. We recently decided that we were going to require people to register. We did this for several reasons. First, requiring registration to post is far and away the norm for these things. Second, we were getting spammed pretty bad. Not only does this look unprofessional, but there were some concerns that this might catch the attention of one of the higher-ups at the university - and this would be bad. Third, and most important from my point of view, constantly having to go check for spam and then delete it was taking time away from other things which I need to work on.

Realizing that some people were going need to have their hands held to get through the registration process, I wrote up directions. Here's how they originally read:

To Register:
1. Click on the "Register" button located under the forum logo.

2. Agree to the terms of service (requirement of the company hosting this forum service).

3. Fill out the required account information - you will have to create a username and password, enter your email address (you can select to hide this from people later), and compete the word verification form.

4. Set any other options. The "Profile" and "Preferences" sections of the form are completely optional (the time and date defaults are set to Arizona). The option to disable email display is under "Preferences." You can completely ignore the "Super Quick Reply mod" section.

5. Click submit.

Congratulations! You are now registered!
If you have any questions or problems, please email [the project's email address as a hotlink]

Now, I will admit that I'm a techie, so things like registering for a forum are no big deal to me. I could probably do it with my eyes shut. But apparently, this was too confusing for some people. They couldn't find the "register" link. They couldn't understand sections of the form (the ones I told them they could ignore). They didn't know how to log in. (Oh, for fuck's sake, you can't be this stupid, can you?)

And instead of emailing the project, like the instructions say, they emailed the director of the project! It's not so much that they emailed him as it is they did that instead of clicking on the email hotlink.

What really gets me about this whole thing is that the people who are registering for this are primarily supposed be graduate students, professors, and professionals. In other words, intelligent people! Apparently not. Am I being unreasonable in assuming that people should be able to fill out a fairly simple registration form? I would hope not, but I've been disappointed before.

Serious, these people are supposed to be trained academics. I'm sorry, if you can't understand this simple a registration process, you should have your previous diplomas revoked and you may just want to go ahead and shoot yourself.

Lest We Forget

Faces of the Dead in Iraq
From the New York Times online.

Things Which Are Annoying Me This Morning

While I am not really pissed off or anything, I have found myself at general low-level of annoyance this morning. These are the sort of things which, by themselves, probably wouldn't a big deal. But they have this nasty little tendency to build on each other. So, here are things which have already annoyed me this morning:

Car Alarms: Okay - so these tend to annoy me all the time, not just this morning. They just happen to be a focus this morning because one went off outside my window this morning about 15 minutes before my alarm. If it had been a little earlier, I might have slept through it. Or at the very least I would have had time to actually go back to sleep. At 15 minutes, however, there's not really enough time to actually go back to sleep in any sort of meaningful way. Now I realize that car alarms are part of every day life these days, but that doesn't stop them from annoying me.

The Fill-In News Caster: So this is one of the little ones. I like to watch the local news as I'm getting ready in the morning. Yeah, I know most of the stories they're covering that time of day are complete bull-shit, fluff stories, but I like to catch things like the local weather, traffic reports, and the local sports coverage. The particular channel I watch is usually pretty good (although I'm noticing a disturbing trend toward things like make-up tips as news stories - I'm sorry, how is this considered important news?), but this morning one of the regular news casters had the day off. I in no way blame her for taking a day off - hell, I wish I could. But the woman they had filling in for her this morning was just terrible. She was one of those people who tries to hard to be a "serious" news caster, but still seem open, friendly, and personable. Didn't work. Lady, you're just filling in - get over yourself.

Ann Coulter: This is another one which annoys me on a regular basis, but has been brought to my attention this morning in particular. If you don't already know, Ann Coulter is an ultra conservative right-wing ideologue. She has made it habit to say things which many (if not most) people consider to be offensive and outlandish. She was the one a few months back who referred to some of the 9/11 widows as "harpies." Well, she's done it again (big surprise, huh?). This past Friday, she referred to Democratic Presidential hopeful John Edwards as a "faggot." According to a CNN.com story, at the Conservative Political Action Conference she said "I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot,' so I'm - so, kind of at an impasse, can't really talk about Edwards, so I think I'll just conclude here and take your questions." Nice. I must admit, I would not be all that sorry to see this woman, whom I consider the really harpy, just go away.

The DHCP: DHCP stands for Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol. Without going into a bunch of techno-babble which most people wouldn't understand, I'll simply say that this program needs to be functioning properly for the computer network on campus is function properly. Without, computers cannot connect to the Internet. Well, it was down this morning. It looks like it's fixed now, but having something like this down early on a Monday morning is bad. Really bad. While there is absolutely nothing I can do about, people still come to me wanting to get it fixed. They hate the fact that only answer I can give them is "It's broken. They are working on fixing it. You'll just have to wait." Luckily, the network admins got it fixed in about half an hour and things seem to going well at this point. But all this happened before I had my coffee - not good.

Spring Training: I know people love baseball. I accept this fact. I don't care about it all that much, but if other people do, that's fine. The problem is that right now it's Spring Training, which means a number of teams are here in Arizona doing their thing. Again, fine, I don't really care. It's the people who are here to watch Spring Training who are annoying me. I have ranted about driving in Phoenix before. It's rather like playing dodge ball with cars. As crazy as it may be, however, there is some method to the madness. Most people in Phoenix understand at least some of the rules. When you toss in a bunch of outsiders, that's when you have real problems. Spring training started last week, and people's spring breaks are going to be coming up over the next couple weeks - thing are only going to get worse.

---

Post #100!

Make the Hurting Stop!

I am fucking sick of all this crap over Anna Nicole Smith! Yes, it's sad that she died and that her son died and all that. But let's face it, where she's buried really has no impact on my life. And I couldn't really care less who the baby's father is. Why is this shit still news? I'll tell you why. It's like a car accident or a train wreck. People can't help but watch. It satisfies some deep, perverse sense of humor. We want to see celebrities crash and burn. It's like watching some yuppie-fuck's expensive little sports car get demolished by a dumptruck. Admit it, you see something like that, you just sit back with a big grin, thinking "Boy, we're having some fun now!" Sure you have. This is fun shit! But when it reaches that point that your camped out, still watching as some poor guy is sweeping away the broken glass and the yuppie-fuck is crying to his insurance agent, you've become obsessed. That's where we are with the whole Anna Nicole Smith drama. We're down to sweeping up of the glass and crying on the cell phone. Not literally, of course, it's hard to physically cry into that damn little blue-tooth ear piece he just has to have, but you get my point!

Ah shit . . .

I have firmly decided that there are few things more depressing than waking up thinking it's Friday, only to realize that, no, you're wrong. I'm so ready for this week to be over and done. Nothing real bad or stressful, it's just seemed incredibly long. Well, at least I can take consolidation in that fact that, while not Friday, it is at least Thursday. I would have been in real trouble if I woke up on a Tuesday thinking it was Friday. Come to think of it, I have done that. And yes, it really really sucks!

It's Amazing

It's amazing to me sometimes how easy it is to make someone's day a lot better, simply by taking a few minutes to help them out. It could be taking 10 or 15 minutes to help a professor set up some tech so they can deliver an old lecture in a new way. They're grateful for the help, and their students may become more involved than they might be otherwise. This is not a big commitment, either in time or effort, so it does not seem like a big deal to you, but it is to them. Or it could be loaning a friend a spare set of old speakers so they can listen to music in their office as they work. It's not like you're out anything - those speakers have been sitting on a shelf, collecting dust, for months - but to them it's the difference between a long, boring day in a little, poorly lit cube in silence, and at least being able to listen to the radio or their MP3 player for a while. Or it even could be as simple as telling people they are welcome to help themselves to a cup of coffee from the pot in your office. Never mind the fact that there's only the little pink packages of fake sugar* - the fact that it's good coffee and they can get a quick caffeine fix for free (even if there is a donations cup) is enough for them.

And do you really expect anything back for doing these things? No, not really. It is simply the fact you have made their day better. And karma has a way of coming around when you least expect it.

*Personally, I won't touch that crap. Pretty much the only thing I add to coffee is either whiskey or Irish cream, and even those I don't add very often.

---

What prompted this? I really have no idea. Yes, all the things I described above happened today, but things of this nature happen on a pretty regular basis, so I don't think that's it. This was triggered by something else, I think, but I'm not sure what.

There are probably times I seem to be overly cynical and angry. This is really only partly true. True, I do get angry at times, but it rarely lasts long, and more often than not, it's less true anger and more plain annoyance. This is how you know I'm not a pessimist. If I really didn't have any faith in humanity, I would either be far more angry or simply apathetic. As far as being cynical is concerned, in general, I am. But I'm a happy cynic. I may decry the breakdown of society, but I'll have a rueful smile on my face the whole time. As the Grateful Dead said in one of their songs, "I may be going to Hell in a bucket, but at least I'm enjoying the ride!"

Next Time Consider Your Demographic

I was flipping through channels just now and came across a show on new video games. They were blathering on about voting for the best game of the year. I have no problem with gamers voting on which game is their favorite of the year. I have no interest, but equally a lot people have no interest in the things like the NHL All-Star game which I vote for every season. They vote their thing, I vote mine. So it was not the fact that the hosts of this particular show were trying to galvanize the vote which caught my interest. But rather it was the way they were going about it. They were trying to make jokes about fucked up voting practices in Florida and Ohio, and how people would be able to decide the best game of the year unless the Supreme Court decided to make the choice for them. Now I picked up on these references to (relatively) recent elections and all the shit that surrounded them. But my first thought was to question how many gamers would actually get them as well. Of course, I'm not saying that all gamers are idiots or anything of that sort, but I have noticed a correlation between excessive game play and a being oblivious to the outside world. Wouldn't it make more sense to pick a reference more directly related to interests of their specific demographic? Of course, I have no idea that other reference might be as I'm not a gamer myself, but I'm sure there must be something for fitting. I mean, it's kind of like trying to convince yuppie-larva to buy the latest MP3 player by talking about classical music on wax cylinders. Yeah, on some level it makes sense, but let's face it, how many yuppie-larva are going to even know that music used to come on things called "wax cylinders"?

Randomness for February 1, 2006

Random Quote: "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." ~Douglas Adams

Question of the Moment: What are all the factors which go into the crafting of a narrative?

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Steve Earl, "Copperhead Road," The Definitive Collection, 1983-1997

Muhahahaha!!!

Well, despite my previous post, I actually am in a rather good mood this morning. This is because I have discovered that the key to my office (which I had to wait so long for at the beginning of the school year) opens more than just my office.

Maybe I should explain a bit here. There is one standard key which opens most all the graduate student offices. And opens only the graduate student offices. It does not open things like the break room or the work room. And I understand and accept this. So when I finally received the key to my current office, I assumed the same thing and didn't even think about it. Well, it turns out I was wrong. My key opens both the break room and the work room! Now, I rarely have much need to get into the work room outside the hours that it should be open (about 8:00 to 5:00). Access to the break room, however, it another matter all together.

I am a big coffee drinker during the work week. It's not the caffeine, but rather the taste and smell of it which I enjoy. (And, no, I will not switch to decaf, for reasons which would take too long to explain here.) So, when I get into the office in the morning, I need to get water for my coffee pot. Often the break room has been left open from the night before and there's no problem. But sometimes, it's actually locked when I get here (which is before the secretaries start their day). This causes a problem. I can't really use the drinking fountain on the floor as it's too small and has too little water pressure to use unless I want to take 15 or 20 minutes, by which time someone would have showed up with a key to break room anyway. So I have often been forced to wait.

This was the situation in which I found myself this morning. After finding the door locked, I threw a good little four-lettered word at the ceiling, and got ready to wait. And then I though, "I wonder if one of my new keys might work?" I decided it was worth a shot, so I tried. And the key turned. I was so dumbfounded that I actually pulled the key out and retried the door handle to make sure I wasn't hallucinating or something. Nope, still locked. I re-inserted the key and turned it again. And, as if by magic, the door opened!

After I got my coffee going, the evil little part of my brain whispered "What other doors might this key open?" So I tried the work room and it worked there as well. I'm still slightly curious if it might open some of the professors's offices, but I respect other people's privacy too much to go there, so that will remain an idle curiosity.

Now this discovery presently me with some new found power. The only question is whether I use it for good or for evil (cue the maniacal chuckle). I have mentioned the professor who's so anal about noise (here). Now there is no time constraints on my messing with him. That, obviously, goes in the "evil" column. On the good side, should there be an early meeting which needs to get into a room, or if someone has forgotten their keys that day, I can get into the work room and get them the spare. Will I be faced with these sorts of things every often? No. Really, the big deal, as far as I'm concerned, is simply being able to get water for my coffee whenever I want.

"What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate"*

This falls into the category of stupid drivers in Phoenix (or the Phoenix area as the case may be). I have ranted on this before, but this particular crime of stupidity came up last night. Admittedly, this was at about 9:00 PM, after I had been on campus for 13 and a half hours, so maybe I'm just being "over-reacting-bad-karma-boy" (to use the words of Henry Rollins), but I really don't think so . . .

There are some people around here who seem completely incapable of reading road signs. As I have mentioned before, there is an insane amount of road work going on around here. In this particular case, I was riding the bus back to my truck so I could go home. The route this bus takes means that we have to go through a section of construction which narrows both directions down to one lane right at an intersection. There are a number of very clearly posted signs which say "no left turn" - you know, these ones:
They have these signs because if you try to make a left turn in a construction zone along a particularly busy street, you are going to hold up traffic rather severely. And this results in many many pissed off people behind you. Well, this happened last night, and I have seen it happen many times at this particular intersection over the last week or so. The bus driver and other drivers who were forced to wait on this idiot all began to lay on their horns. To no avail. The idiot continued to wait until they could make their turn. Unfortunately for the rest of us, this meant waiting until the light had changed. To make his infraction even more annoying, he had been the first one in line when light turned green initially - so the rest of us had to sit through the whole cycle twice.

And this not the only place or time I've witnessed this sort of behavior. It is unbelievable common around here.

I find myself forced to consider this question: "Are these people really that stupid, or are they simply so self-centered that they don't care?" In the end I'm forced to conclude that whichever is the answer, it worries and disturbs me and I really don't like it.

*And if you don't know this quote, go watch Cool Hand Luke, you uncultured shmuck!

Randomness for January 24, 2007

(Boy, been a while since I did one of these!)

Random Quote: "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." ~George Barnard Shaw

Question of the Moment: When did it become a bad thing to ask questions?

Current Mood: Tired but relaxed
Current Music: Grateful Dead, "Black Muddy River," Touch of Grey

Arizonans in the Rain

I have decided that there are hardly any Arizonans who know what to do when it rains. And I'm including many of the people who have moved here as well - this is not just directed at native Arizonans. Every time it rains, I fully expect to see someone curled up the fetal position in the corner sucking their thumb and staring blankly into space. And almost none know how to drive in the rain. Even when it just sprinkles a little, they go into a complete mental shutdown and lose all ability to think rationally (by the way, it seems to me that rational thinking should be an integral part of driving - just a little important). They seem to either slow to a crawl or drive even faster. And given that the normal speed of traffic is at least 10 to 15 mph over the posted speed limit, that's saying something.

If you don't believe me, just consider the fact that Arizona has a "Stupid Motorist Law." Read it for yourself here. Basically it says that if you drive around posted barricades telling you that the road is closed due to flood conditions, and they have someone to rescue your dumb ass, you can charged for any and all fees and costs associated with the rescue. Personally, I like this law. It means that my taxes don't have to go up when the city or state it forced to save someone from becoming a candidate for the Darwin Awards (speaking of which, I have added the Darwin Awards to my list of links). Here's a picture of the barricades.

I got this picture from here

And it's not just drivers who fall apart in the rain. People walking around do it too. For example, we had some rain here last night, which naturally meant there were some puddles on the sidewalks this morning. Walking from the bus stop to my office, I encountered several of these. Unfortunately, so did the people in front of people. At the first, a few of them actually stopped short and had to think about what they were going to do about this puddle. I was dumbfounded. It's not like this was a big puddle or anything. It was maybe 3 feet long, 1 foot wide, and maybe, maybe half an inch deep. Half an inch! And they had to stop and think about it. And none of these people were wearing expensive or open-toed shoes (I know, I looked, thinking that had to be the reason for the stoppage). They were all in tennis shoes or boots, for fuck's sake! Eventually, they decided that, yes, it was possible to step over or around it, and we all proceeded on our way, me shaking my head sadly and muttering "unbe-fucking-lieveable" under my breath.

Of course, many of these people were probably the same ones you see walking (okay, maybe it's more like "scurrying") around in the rain wearing nice leather coats, or no coats at all, and then going around bitching about how their clothes have been damaged. Here's a hint, dumbass: when it's raining, wear something which is meant for the rain! Like, say, oh I don't know, a rain coat. Once you're inside where it's dry, then you can take off the rain coat and go back to worrying about looking trendy and/or stylish.

So what does all my ranting here come down to? Just this:

It's just water, so get over it and use your head, dumbass!

In Memory of Art Buchwald

"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."

~Art Buchwald, 1925-2007

The Overlord

It has occurred to me that I've mentioned The Overlord several times without actually telling you anything about who he is. The Overlord is one of the professors in my department. He is one of those academics who really doesn't care to teach, so he takes on a bunch of different funded projects. He quite literally brings in hundreds of thousands of dollars in grants every year. Currently, he has at least four different projects going, each of which is funded by outside organizations or groups. With so many projects going on at any one time, he needs a number of grad students working for him. We are referred to as "minions". I think there are nine of us right now.

Overall, The Overlord is a good boss to work for. He expects you be in the office during your scheduled hours and working, and sometimes your hours extend beyond what you are assigned. He also expects you to be on email regularly, and to respond within 24 hour during the week (48 hours on weekends). If you're out of town, that's fine but you have to tell him in advance and still try to reply to emails as promptly as possible. But the flip-side is that he takes care of you. He usually takes his minions out to lunch at least once a semester. And he makes sure you have good equipment to use. I spent much of the last semester designing, purchasing, and setting up new computer equipment for one of the projects I'm working on. This means that I get to spend most of my time working on a brand new, top of the line computer. I have maxed out hardware (including a 20 inch, flat-panel monitor) and have up-to-date software. He basically handed me the credit card and said "Go buy it." Of course, I had to run things by him first, but he has never turned down one of my requests. By the time I have purchased everything we want, I will have spent over $18,000 on computer equipment. Here's the list so far: 2 desk-tops (1 maxed out, 1 a step down from there), 2 laptops (1 work-horse, 1 ultra-portable), a portable projector, 2 portable hard-drives, a color laser printer, a 3-in-1 printer/scanner/copier, and full versions of Adobe Acrobat and Macromedia Creative Suite.

He also throws a party every year, to which all the minions are invited and expected to attend. This is not just a little back-yard BBQ either. This is the fully blown thing, complete with all kinds of food, alcohol, and live music. Friends of his from around the country take time to come out for this thing. That's how big it is.

So, while he's demanding, he's a good boss. But the title of "The Overlord" is more than fitting!

In Town Once More

What's this? The RogueHistorian is actually back in town?!? I know, it seems unbelievable given the last month or so, but it's true. I'm actually in town again for a while. With the exception of weekend trips to Tucson to actually see my fiancee, I should be around most of the time for the next few months.

It's not that I have a great longing to be in the Phoenix area or anything like that. No, the reason is much simpler: classes have started again. And I already know it's going to be a busy semester. Besides my normal work for The Overlord, I'll have four classes (which is a heavy load for grad school). And Tuesday's are going to be my long day of the week. I work for The Overlord in the morning, have one class in the middle of the day, and then another class from 5:30 to 8:30 in the evening. This basically guarantees that I will be putting in more than twelve hours on Tuesdays. I'm just jumping for joy.

In other news, I'm having the great fun of searching for a new roommate (it's simply too expensive around here to live any place half-way decent without a roommate). He has decided to go back to school for his MLS (Masters of Library Science, not Major League Soccer - and on a brief side note, the idea of David Beckham playing for anyone but Man U is still weird to me). I cannot fault him for deciding to go back to school - it's hard to make a real living as a librarian without one. But he's going to a school back East, so he's moving out at the end of this month. Luckily, I'm currently in contact with someone who's interested and sounds like a good roommate, so hopefully that will work itself out in short order.

Oh yeah, I also received a notice for jury duty next month. Fortunately, the day they said I might have to serve is a day I don't have class, just work for The Overlord. And he feels that preforming one's civic duty is more important that working for him, so I'm in the clear there. Of course, the Maricopa County court system can't actually tell if I'll be needed until after 4:30 PM the day before, so I no idea if I'll actually have to serve until then. The Overlord has assured me, however, that if I tell them I'm actually capable of logical and rational thought, they'll dismiss me right away. Sounds about right to me!

So Much For My NFL Playoff Predictions

Back in an August post, I made some predictions on who would make it into the playoffs this year. I got five of twelve right: Indianapolis, New England, Chicago, Seattle, and Dallas. This is why I usually don't bet money on sports.

Back in Town - Briefly

Okay - so technically, I was back in town as of last Wednesday, but this is really the first time I've felt like posting. Mostly, I've just been trying to get back on to a work schedule - and I've been somewhat successful, although not entirely.

And I'm off again as of this Wednesday. April and I are going out to Disneyland for her birthday. So I'll be gone again until early next week.

Now on to the holiday report. Nothing terribly exciting, just the usual headaches of travel and family which usually accompany this time of year. Luckily I missed the worst of the weather in Colorado. By the time I was flying in, they were starting to get caught up, and there were only a few snags. First, the plane was late getting into Phoenix, which meant it was late leaving Phoenix, which meant it was late getting into Denver. When we landed (about an hour late) and taxied to the gate, we had to wait for someone to come out and direct us in, which took about five minutes. And then we had to wait for them to extend the walkway (another ten minutes). And here's the kicker, we had to wait two and a half fuckin' hours for them to get my bags to baggage claim! As near as we could tell, it was because United only had one ground crew working that night, and they were trying to get all the bags which needed to go on connecting flights taken care of first. Bags which were remaining in Denver were of the lowest priority. This of course, included mine. Luckily, these were the only real travel problems I had.

The rest of the holidays went pretty well. My family and I went out to Hawai'i the day after Christmas, and spend a week out there, which was nice. There were, of course, all the usual family . . . tensions is maybe the right word. I like to think of it as tapping dancing around family landmines. As most people have probably noticed, I'm not exactly one to bite my tongue or pay lip-service. But when it comes to family, I often to have go against my natural inclinations and do exactly that. My grandfather's "companion" is one of the those people who always has to be the center of attention, and no matter what story you might have, she has a bigger and better version which she just has to tell you about. For my part, these conversations involve a lot of smiling and head nodding. I am willing to put up with these, however, in exchange for having views like these:

Looking South, with Mauna Kea in the background

Looking Southwest, and although you can't see it, Hualalai is behind the clouds

Looking West, over the ocean at sunset

And before anyone asks, yes, I took these.

Anyway, hope the holidays went well for everyone else! Now, get back to work!

12 Days of Christmas - Hawai'ian Style

("Tutu" is Hawai'ian for "grandmother" and everything else is said phonetically)

Numbah One day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
One mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Two day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Two coconut, an' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Tree day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Foah day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Five day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Five beeg fat peeg... foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Seex day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg (that make TEN!), foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Seven day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Eight day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg (that make TWENNY!), foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Nine day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Ten day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Ten can of beer, nine pound of poi, eight ukuklele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg, Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Eleven day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Eleven missionary, ten can of beer, nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

(Numbah Twelve day of Christmas the bes', and the bes' stuff always come
las'...)

Numbah Twelve day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Twelve TELEVISION, eleven missionary, ten can of beer, nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson, FORTY steenkin' peeg, foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree!

Still Here and Kickin'

Yes, I am still alive. Sorry for the prolonged silence. I spent all of last week fighting a nasty chest cold which had gotten the better of me. When I wasn't trying to cough up a lung, I was making and eating soup and trying not to cough some more. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

And most of this week has been spent getting my new toys ready at the office. While The Overlord may be demanding at times, there are benefits to working for him. Specifically the fact that he always has a ton of money to spend on his projects. And since I'm his primary tech guy, he turns to me to spend his money. This is a good thing. So, I've been spending his money over the last few months and we finally got all of our equipment in. The university techs have prepped and returned it, so now it's just down to me getting everything else set up and ready, installing software, etc. And the best part is that The Overlord always wants us to have really good equipment. There are benefits to working for a man with more money than God.

And then today, my day off, I managed to survive the crowds at the mall to finish off the very last of my Christmas shopping. Now, I'm not a big fan of malls in general, but during the holidays they are absolutely evil. If I can avoid them, I do. Sadly, this year, I could not. Luckily, I managed to make in and out in under an hour and survived to tell the tale.

One more thing to bring people up to date on. As of last Friday, I officially have my M.A. After all the crap that went down at the end of the summer and having to delay my graduation until this semester, I just glad to have it all done.

Well, now that every one is all caught up, I want to wish all a happy (or at the very least, survivable) holidays. I'll be out of touch until after the first of the year. Assuming that it's not snowed under, I'll be flying to Denver on Saturday, and then we're going out to Hawai'i for a week. We'll be in rural Hawai'i with only dial-up, so online things just aren't going to happen. But I'll be back in Arizona late on the 3rd, so I'll see you all then (metaphorically speaking anyway). Peace!

D-U-N!

Done!

I have just finished the final paper for one of my classes. And I am happy! This class has been a bit of pain in the ass all this semester. It's one of those classes you only take because it's required. We've spent the entire semester looking at different theories and methodologies for the practice of history. As a public historian, this is not of that much use to me. I understand why they want everyone to take it and I accept that. But since it's not that important to me, and given that it's a fuckin' pass/fail class, I've spent much of the semester asking "Why should I care or put too much effort into this?" That's not to say that I've slacked off in the class or anything like that, but other things have taken priority on my "To Do" list.

One of the most aggravating things about this class has been the professor. She and I have not always seen eye to eye on things, and (personally) I have found her style a bit grating at times. She is very intelligent and very invested in making the class do what it's supposed to. No question about that. There have just been a few times that she and I have had fundamental disagreements on things, with neither one of us willing to give. From my perspective (and I want to make this clear - this is how I view things, so this is totally biased), she is one of those people who seems to feel that because of who she is, where she comes from, and how she was trained as a historian, she has some kind of special insight to all aspects of a few things. Without going into details, suffice to say that she seems to think that she has the authority to speak on all aspects of gender, religion, and the practice of history. On this last one, she has basically come out and said that she thinks that public historians are incapable of being objective in their research because they are working for clients. This, of course, annoys me quite thoroughly. I have tried to point out that historians working in academe also have clients, it's just that our clients pay us with money and their clients pay them with tenure positions, book and article publications. (She didn't much like that statement.) Now, I am more than willing to admit that my being annoyed is a big part of the reason I am so unwilling to back down on some things.

So, back to the final paper. This was to be 12-15 pages on "What is history?" The way the assignment was written, we could either focus on how people have thought about history over time, or how they have practiced it, realizing of course that there is a great deal of overlap between the two. I chose the second, focusing on how the practice of history has slowly but continuously moved away from being a strictly academic one, and toward being public focused. In other words, as historians have expanded their subject areas to include more than just dead white men in politics and the military, they have been forced to also expand their methods of presentation to include more than just teaching undergrads and writing wordy monographs for other academics.

Needless to say, my paper is a Big Fucking Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. But, the pin has been pulled (the paper is done) and it has been lobbed (and has been turned in to her box). Now we just wait for the fall out!

An Important Anniversary

Today is a special day, whether you know it or not. It was on this day, 73 years ago, that the 18th Amendment was repealed. If you don't remember the 18th Amendment off the top of your head, allow me to refresh your memory. The 18th was the amendment which prohibited "the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States." In other words, Prohibition. The 18th Amendment was in effect from January 16, 1920, until December 5, 1933, when it was repealed with the passage of the 21st Amendment. In honor of this day, here is an old Irish folk song which seemed appropriate:

Of all the money e'er I had, I spent it in good company;
And all the harm I've ever done, alas was done to none but me;
And all I've done for want of wit, to memory now I can't recall,
So fill me to the parting glass, goodnight and joy be with you all.

Of all the comrades e'er I had, they're sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts e'er I had, they wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot that I should go and you should not,
I'll gently rise and softly call, goodnight and joy be with you all.

If I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile,
There is a fair maid in this town who sorely has my heart beguiled.
Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips, I own she has my heart in thrall,
So fill me to the parting glass, goodnight and joy be with you all.
~ "The Parting Glass," Traditional Irish Folk Song

Fuckin' John Madden

Every time I watch Sunday Night Football, I find myself more and more annoyed by John Madden. I know he's been in football for years, but that still doesn't stop the guy from being a complete idiot. When he's not stating the obvious, he's making comments which are just idiotic or wrong. I wish he would just shut the fuck up and go away.

What Made You Think You Could Get Away With Something Like This?

One of my colleagues is teaching a freshman survey class, US History to 1865. As part of this class, she has assigned a short book on women in the antebellum South (and by "short," I mean about 100 pages). Students needed to write a 3-5 page (double spaced) review on the book. No exactly a hard assignment.

As she was grading them, however, she came across one which struck her as remarkably familiar. Almost like she had read it before. Then she realized she had. It was a review which had been published on one of the online history networks. It's not even like this guy "borrowed" a sentence or two and didn't cite them. The entire paper was the same, word for word. The only thing which this student had written himself was the last two sentences, which were complete crap. The only other thing this student did to try and hide his plagiarism was to change a few words here and there. It really looks like he simply used the synonym tool on Word. For example, the original review used the word "champion" (as in champion a cause). Well, this student's paper had "gladiator" instead. Yeah, like no would notice that.

And in the course of grading, she has found a couple others, although none quite so egregious. Of course, my friend was more than a little pissed off. She feels that these students are treating her like she's stupid. Well, she's not. And now she's gunning for these students (I offered to walk into her class with one of my other friends, who's just a little unstable, and threaten to break the fingers of anyone who did this sort of thing again - she laughed but did not accept the offer). So, she brought this situation to the attention of the department chair. He looked at the paper, looked at the original review, and said "Give him an 'XE' for the class." Here's how the university defines "XE":

The grade of "XE" denotes failure through academic dishonesty and may not be appealed through the grade appeal process. The grade "XE" shall be recorded on the student's transcript with the notation "failure due to academic dishonesty." The grade "XE" shall be treated in the same way as an "E" for the purposes of grade point average and determination of academic standing.

An XE cannot be expunged from a transcript. It stays on there forever! Good luck ever getting into grad school, dumbass! And this guy is a business major. Companies often look at transcripts specifically for things like this. Worse case scenario, the dean can decide to expel this student, with no change for re-enrollment.

People like this often confuse me some. I can understand that you can get busy and may feel like you need to cut corners to get things done. Remember, I've been there and felt the same way - in fact, there are days I still feel that way. But to think that you can get away with plagiarism is just mind-boggling.

My books need no one to accuse or judge you: the page which is yours stands up against you and says, "You are a thief." ~ Marcus Valerius Martial, Epigrams (bk. I, ep. 53)

Back in the Desert

Well, April and I managed to survive Thanksgiving with one of side of my extended family. It was a fun trip overall, but large family get-togethers like this are often a little stressful. Here's the general run down of the trip:

We left Phoenix early Wednesday morning. When I say "early" I mean that our flight was at 8:00 AM, which is just an ugly time of day to be traveling. Luckily, check-in and security went fine. The flight was uneventful - April "slept" (you never can really "sleep" on an airplane) and I read my book. At least the small children did not get fussy until right at the very end of the flight. My brother and mother picked us up at the airport and we went back to their house to pack up everything and then hit the road. My mother's general habit with this sort of thing is to go horribly stressed out during the whole prep time, but then calm down once we've actually gotten out of the house and there's not much she can do about things - and she was true to form again this time. My parent's took the truck, while April and I took one of their cars, a fact for which we were most thankful. It meant a little space to ourselves.

We also had two different cabins in Estes Park, which was very nice. It meant that April and I did not have to spend every minute with the extended family. And this was April's first exposure to most of the extended relatives on this side of the family. While I like most of my relatives, even I have to admit that they can be goofy at times - and often are. But, overall, things went well. The weather was a little cold (no surprise, huh? Colorado, in the mountains, in early winter, who would have thought it might be cold?), but that didn't stop April and I from walking around Estes and looking in all the shops.

The trip back to Phoenix was the only place we hit a real snag of any kind. Besides getting stuck with middle and window seats on the plane, I was an idiot and forgot to take my knife off my belt and pack it in my checked bag. Didn't realize this until I tried to walk through security. Airport security is not real thrilled with you trying to carry a jack knife with a 4 inch blade through the metal detector. (I actually did get away with this once - I had forgotten again, but when I walked through I didn't set it off because, I think, the knife had a thick rubber grip on it. I didn't realize this until I reached for my handkerchief during the flight. On the way back, I packed it.) I had to fill out a form and put my knife in a little plastic bag, which will be mailed back to me. Of course, this costs money, but it's still less than buying a new knife. I guess if that's the worst of the trip, that's not too bad.

Hope Thanksgiving went well for everyone else. Now, BACK TO WORK, SLACKERS! (and yes, I count myself in that category)

Running Away

Okay, not really. I'll be back - I promise. Actually, my fiancee and I are headed off to Colorado to spend Thanksgiving with my family. And this year we're doing Thanksgiving at a cabin up in Estes Park, which means no internet - actually, I'm kind of looking forward to being off-line for a few days. Means The Overlord can't get a hold of me! I'll be back Sunday afternoon. Hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving be it with friends, or family, or simply taking some time off!

Annoying Co-worker

As most of you probably know (or have figured out) at this point, I basically live at my University. I am a grad student after all, so this is probably not too surprising. While it means I get a lot done, spending so much time in my office does have its downsides as well. One of them is that I end up seeing the same people all the time. In most cases this is not a big - I generally like the people I work with. There are some, however, who have made me occasionally want to bring in either a 2x4 or about 2 feet of lead pipe and "adjust" their attitude. One such person has come across my path several times in the last few weeks.

Prior to entering the graduate program here, this particular person had spend a number of years (about 20) teaching at a community college with an M.A., but had finally reached the limit of what he could earn without the Ph.D. So he decided to go back to school and get one. Fine - I'm all for people doing this. But he makes it seem like, because he's spent time in the "real world" he should get some kind of special consideration. For example, it's a mandatory part of the Ph.D. program for people who are planning on teaching post-secondary history classes that they take PFF (Preparing Future Faculty). No exceptions, even for people who already have experience. This is because there are new techniques and theories of history education being developed all the time, and the department feels it's important for teachers coming out this program to know these. The particular co-worker bitches and complains endlessly about having to take this class. Three words: Deal. With. It.

Just now, I overheard him complaining about the fact that he would have to spend next semester grading papers as a TA. He felt like if he had to grade undergrad papers he should be able to work with the person he wants, or at least in an area of history he's interested in. Well, sorry, but the system doesn't work that way. TA-ships are assigned based on a number of factors including the professor's other classes, class sizes, past use of TAs, etc., etc., etc. Long story short, neither professors or TAs get to pick, so complaining isn't going to get you anything. Plus, to my way of thinking, the department is not only waiving your tuition, they're paying you as well! And this means you just do the job they tell you to do. Take me for example: I specialize in Public History and historic preservation. I'm not planning on teaching any time soon (maybe 20 or 25 years down the road, but not now). And yet, for my first two years, half of my TAship every semester was grading - often in fields outside my own. I've graded for classes on Western Civ, Jazz and culture, and Russian history. Russian history! I've never even taken a class on Russian history. The closest I ever came was having a roommate who spent 6 months in Russia one semester during my undergrad. What the fuck did I know about Russian history?!? Nothing! Now I have some understanding, but I sure as hell didn't going into that class.

So, to this particular co-worker, get over yourself. You're nothing special around here and people are sick of all your bitching and complaining. Grow a pair and get to work.

Ever Hear of a Little Thing Called the First Amendment?

I just read about a town in Nevada, Pahrump specifically, where they have made it illegal to fly a foreign flag unless you also display a U.S. flag above it. Apparently, a man by the name of Michael Miraglia proposed and championed the ban because he was upset by people waiving the Mexican flag during the immigration debate demonstrations a few months back (well, that and the fact that all the Mexican food places in town were closed). For fuck's sake, people! You may not like the fact that people are waiving the flag of a foreign country, but cannot deny the fact that they have a Constitutionally protected right to do so. This sort of idiocy just pisses me off.

Wish I Had Thought of It

Yes, I'm still alive. I know it's been a little while since I last posted. Things have been busy here. One of the projects I've been working on for The Overlord had its official launch Monday. Since the launch, we've had 606 hits, from 422 unique visitors. Not too bad. So keeping track of that and dealing with problems which have come up since have been taking up much of my time. The rest of it has been focused on preparing for classes. One of my classes, a directed readings class led by the department chair, finally met for the first time yesterday. I've also had to prepare for a couple of discussions on gender theory for one of my other classes. I've already thrown out one hand grenade in the discussion on Tuesday, and I'm thinking I might two or three more which I might throw out today. So needless to say, I was really up for a laugh this morning when I got into the office.

One of the professors here is extremely anal about noise. He happens to have an office in a poor location, as it's near one of the conference rooms and the break room. In an attempt to keep things to his liking, this particular professor has posted a note on the break room white board reading "Please keep the door closed!" This particular professor has pissed off and/or annoyed a number of people (both grad students and other professors) in the department, just because he's such an ass about this sort of thing. Well, starting very soon after he first started writing this, someone started erasing part or all of the message on a regular basis. This, of course, only pissed him off more. Well, early one morning last year, I was in my office working when he stuck his head in and basically accused me of being the one to do this. I denied it simply because it wasn't me. His reasoning for accusing me, I was in early every morning. Yeah, that makes sense. Naturally, this pissed me off. I figured that if I was going to be convicted of the crime, I might as well commit it. So I started erasing parts of his message. I'd do things like erase every other letter, or erase the top or bottom half the message. Basically, I was making a point of doing it in such a way that it was clear that this not simply someone erasing his note, but someone trying to piss him off and make fun of him. Honestly, I was hoping to cause him to have a mental break down. It hasn't happened yet, but I think today's incident might just do it. When I came in this morning and went in the break room to get water for my coffee pot, I saw that someone (NOT me!) had altered his note. Someone had replaced the "keep the door" with "hold me" and altered the d in "closed" into an exclamation point. It now read "Please hold me close!" Again, I would like to emphasize that it was NOT me, but I certainly wish I had thought of it!

---

UPDATE: Monday 11/20
Apparently, one of my friends managed to snap a picture of this on her cell phone. So here it is:

The "Dee Dee Dee" List

Inspired by Carlos Mencia (watch him here), this list is intended to keep track of various people who have proven quite clearly that they are, in fact, Dee Dee Dees. These are the people you walk by on the street, sit near in meetings, or have some contact with, and you find yourself thinking "Goddamn, I hope they never procreate!" As I, or someone else, come across these people, I will add them to the list (newer ones towards the top so people don't have to scroll through the whole list).

---

Wednesday 11/08/06: A British man has been hospitalized after lighting a firecracker which was in his ass (story on azcentral.com). Apparently, he and his friends had decided that this would be a good way to commemorate Guy Fawkes' day. How he could think sticking a lit firecracker in his ass and letting go off was a good idea, I have no clue. I wonder which of his friends (who of course filmed this with their mobile phones) was the first to yell "Holy shite!"

Monday 11/06/06: I overheard someone on the bus this morning, complaining about how the police had treated him over the weekend. Apparently, some one called the police, saying that a group of young, hispanic males were trying to steal tires. As it turns out, this guy matched the discription and was in area. So the cops rolled up on him and his friends. They told him to get out of his car. He refused because "it was cold out." His brother was also there and, after they finally got out of the car, he refused to remove his hands from his jacket pockets. Needless to say, this did not exactly makes the cops happy. And now this guy is pissed off because the cops were treating them bad. Hello, dumbass! You did everything you're not supposed to do with cops short of pulling a gun or running!

Wednesday 11/01/06: A Boston lawyer was arrested because he was dressed up as Osama bin Laden and waving around a fake gun. Apparently this was his way of protesting a proposed change in tax law. According to the Ruerter's story, he said "I didn't expect to be arrested. Obviously I touched a post-9/11 nerve." No shit, Sherlock!

Tuesday 10/31/06: SI.com reports an Orlando Magic fan has been banned from all NBA games for this season for calling Dikembe Mutombo a "monkey." The fan says he simply used "poor judgment." Gee, ya think?

Monday 10/30/06: A man in Ohio is suing "Discount Drug Mart," saying that the orthopedic he bought from them were so tight they caused him to have three toes amputated. Here's a hint, dumbass, if the shoes are starting to cause physical damage of this kind of severity, QUIT WEARING THEM! Read the local new story.

Thursday 08/10/06: Maurice Clarett. I ranted at length about him here. What else can I say?

Election Day

It's Election Day, so it seemed appropriate to have a few quotes from important people.

Franklin D. Roosevelt: Let us never forget that government is ourselves and not an alien power over us. The ultimate rulers of our democracy are not a President and senators and congressmen and government officials, but the voters of this country.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.: The freeman casting, with unpurchased hand, the vote that shakes the turrets of the land.

Daniel Webster: Sink or swim, live or die, survive or perish, I give my hand and heart to this vote.

Dwight D. Eisenhower: The future of this republic is in the hands of the American voter.

Ayn Rand: Individual rights are not subject to a public vote; a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority; the political function of rights is precisely to protect minorities from oppression by majorities (and the smallest minority on earth is the individual).

William E. Simon: Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote.

John Q. Adams: Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.

Anon.: No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.

---

GO VOTE!

Ted Haggard

Now, I'm not going to harp on Ted Haggard, the disgraced Evangelical preacher from Colorado, or anything here. I just have one quick thing, which I have already posed a couple people and they seem to think I have a point. Haggard admits he bought Meth, intending to use it, but then flushed it away. And that this was the only time he's bought Meth. Now, I know a number of people who have used drugs of various varieties, including Meth users. NONE of these people have just woken up one day and said, "You know, I think I'm going to start doing Meth today!" All of them have had prior experience with other drugs. Meth is simply not a drug, in my experience with people who do this sort of thing, you start with! Makes me wonder, that's all.

Halloween Disappointments and Traditions

Well, I have to say that I'm disappointed with the kids in my neighborhood. We had a total of three trick-or-treaters last night - and they all came at the same time. Which means my roommate and I have a bunch of candy we really don't want sitting around the apartment. I'm thinking I'll unload a bunch of it in the break room at work. You leave anything edible with a sign reading "FREE!" in a university break room, and it'll be gone in short order!

On the plus side, I maintained my own personal Halloween tradition of great (or simply greatly bad) movies. If Halloween falls in the middle of the week, I usually don't have the time or energy to do anything on Halloween night (plus there's the whole handing out candy to kids, or at least trying to). So I hang around the house and watch Halloween appropriate movies. I usually try to pick one which great for being so cheesey, one which is a little more . . . polished, maybe, and then one which is an all time cult classic.

For my great cheesey movie, this year I picked Evil Dead II. If you have not seen this, you must! It's an all time classic bad horror film, complete with demons, zombies, and even has blood in three different colors (red, black, and green)! As if all that wasn't enough, it also has some great lines and physical comedy. Let's face it, the idea of Bruce Campbell having to cut off his own possessed hand and replacing it with a retro-fitted chainsaw is too good to pass on.

My more "polished" film for this year was The Crow. After all, it's an enjoyable film with some pretty good acting and a decent script. And as it takes place on the night before Halloween and involves people coming back from the dead, it's entirely appropriate.

The all time classic cult film to which I referred early is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I have watched Rocky nearly every Halloween since I was about 13 or so. I have been to live showing of it, and I know the proper responses to the film (for example, when Dr. Frank-N-Furter calls for a toast, you throw toast, or when you yell "BACK ROW" as loud as you can during the opening song). And, having watched it so many times, I can safely say that no man (and I do mean "man") on Earth can pull off a black teddie and five inch heels better than Tim Curry. Plus there's the whole watching a young Susan Sarandon run around in her underwear the whole time.

So, I was disappointed with the kids, but I watched a bunch of great movies and was, in the end, fully amused. Hope Halloween went well for everyone else and happy Dia de los Muertos!